From HenriNouwen.org
On the Journey to Becoming a Healthy (God)Parent
written by RITA O'CONNOR
I'm not actually a parent. I'm an aunt, a teacher and, most important, godmother to a sweet child. I spend days at a time with her and her siblings. Here's my advice for parents of all kinds.
To be a healthy parent -
*Go out. Go out with your spouse or friends or by yourself. Talk to adults.
*Talk to other parents. Tell the truth, they'll understand.
*Know that your children will cause to rise within you what it was like for you to be a child, for you to have parents. Know this and work to heal it.
*Don't take things personally. When you set the lovingly prepared dinner before them and they say "Yuck," it is not a comment on your culinary skills. They may tell you that you are a bad mommy or daddy, don't take it personally.
*Don't be perfect. Your children need to see that you can be angry, sad, frustrated or discouraged and that you can deal with your feelings. Revealing your imperfection also teaches them an important lesson when you ask their forgiveness. It teaches them to ask yours.
*Pray. We speak of God as a parent, I'm sure God understands.
Like all worthwhile endeavors, what you are doing as a parent is hard and important. Immeasurably important. Remember what King Solomon used to say: "This too will pass."
- RITA O'CONNOR is a single, middle-aged teacher living in
She is a staunch Roman Catholic and attends a United church. She has been an assistant at L'Arche Daybreak and remains a friend of the community.
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