Timmy writes a Christmas Letter

Dear Santa,

How are you? How is Mrs. Claus?
I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine.
I have been a very good boy this year.
I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas.
I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.

Merry Christmas,

Timmy Jones

********************* Dear Timmy,

Thank you for you letter.
Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them.
Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting.
Santa wouldn't want you to get fat.
Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you something you can go outside and play with.

Merry Christmas,

Santa Claus

*********************** Mr. Claus,

Seeing that I have fulfilled the "naughty vs. nice" contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for.
I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation.
Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?

Respectfully,

Tim Jones

********************* Mr. Jones,

While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided.
Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right.
Please know, however, that my attorney's have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court.
Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve you social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.

Very Truly Yours,

S Claus

*********************** Now look here Fat Man,

I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it.
I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this.
Now you just be disrespecting me.
I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want.
WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!

T-Bone

***************** Listen Pizza Face,

Seriously???
You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny gang banger wannabe?
"He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake".
Sound familiar, genius?
You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal.
I got your shit wired, Jack.
I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totino's pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's basement.
You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in you're ass and then walk it dry.
Chew on that, Petunia.

S Clizzy

*********************** Dear Santa,

Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.

Timmy

************** Timmy,

That's what I thought you little bastard.

Santa

True Story of Rudolph The Reindeer

A man named Bob May, depressed and brokenhearted, stared out his drafty apartment window into the chilling December night.
His 4-year-old daughter Barbara sat on his lap quietly sobbing.
Bobs wife, Evelyn, was dying of cancer.
Little Barbara couldn't understand why her mommy could never come home. Barbara looked up into her dad's eyes and asked, "Why isn't Mommy just like everybody else's Mommy?"
Bob's jaw tightened and his eyes welled with tears.
Her question brought waves of grief, but also of anger.

It had been the story of Bob's life.
Life always had to be different for Bob.
Small when he was a kid, Bob was often bullied by other boys.
He was too little at the time to compete in sports.
He was often called names he'd rather not remember.
From childhood, Bob was different and never seemed to fit in.
Bob did complete college, married his loving wife and was grateful to get his job as a copywriter at Montgomery Ward during the Great Depression.
Then he was blessed with his little girl.
But it was all short-lived.

Evelyn's bout with cancer stripped them of all their savings and now Bob and his daughter were forced to live in a two-room apartment in the Chicago slums.
Evelyn died just days before Christmas in 1938.

Bob struggled to give hope to his child, for whom he couldn't even afford to buy a Christmas gift.
But if he couldn't buy a gift, he was determined a make one - a storybook!
Bob had created a character in his own mind and told the animal's story to little Barbara to give her comfort and hope.
Again and again Bob told the story, embellishing it more with each telling.

Who was the character?
What was the story all about?
The story Bob May created was his own autobiography in fable form.
The character he created was a misfit outcast like he was.
The name of the character?
A little reindeer named Rudolph, with a big shiny nose.

Bob finished the book just in time to give it to his little girl on Christmas Day.
But the story doesn't end there.

The general manager of Montgomery Ward caught wind of the little storybook and offered Bob May a nominal fee to purchase the rights to print the book.
Wards went on to print, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” and distribute it to children visiting Santa Claus in their stores.
By 1946 Wards had printed and distributed more than six million copies of Rudolph.
That same year, a major publisher wanted to purchase the rights from Wards to print an updated version of the book.

In an unprecedented gesture of kindness, the CEO of Wards returned all rights back to Bob May.
The book became a best seller.
Many toy and marketing deals followed and Bob May, now remarried with a growing family, became wealthy from the story he created to comfort his grieving daughter.
But the story doesn't end there either.

Bob's brother-in-law, Johnny Marks, made a song adaptation to Rudolph.
Though the song was turned down by such popular vocalists as Bing Crosby and Dinah Shore, it was recorded by the singing cowboy, Gene Autry.
"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" was released in 1949 and became a phenomenal success, selling more records than any other Christmas song, with the exception of "White Christmas.."

The gift of love that Bob May created for his daughter so long ago kept on returning back to bless him again and again.
And Bob May learned the lesson, just like his dear friend Rudolph, that being different isn't so bad.
In fact, being different can be a blessing.


This is a nice story . . . with Snopes having a slightly different twist to it . . . I like this one better. Merry Christmas Everybody!

Time For Courage & Faith

[Circular Letter, Advent-Christmas, 1967]

The times are difficult.

They call for courage and faith.

Faith is in the end a lonely virtue.

Lonely especially where a deep authentic community of love is not an accomplished fact, but a job to be begun over and over...

Love is not something we get from Mother Church as a child gets milk from the breast: it also has to be given.

We don't get love if don't give any.

Christmas, then, is not just a sweet regression to breast-feeding and infancy.

It is a serious and sometimes difficult feast.

Difficult especially if, for psychological reasons, we fail to grasp the indestructible kernel of hope that is in it.

If we are just looking for a little consolation-we may be disappointed.

Let us pray for one another, love one another in truth, in the sobriety of earnest, Christian hope: for hope, says Paul, does not deceive.

A blessed and joyous Christmas to all of you.

Thomas Merton, The Road to Joy

A Christmas Hymn

And some of the Pharisees from among the multitude said unto him, Master, rebuke thy disciples.

And he answered and said unto them, I tell you that if these should hold their peace, the stones would immediately cry out.

Saint Luke  19: 30-40

 

A stable-lamp is lighted
Whose glow shall wake the sky;
The stars shall bend their voices,
And every stone shall cry.
And every stone shall cry,
And straw like gold shall shine;
A barn shall harbor heaven,
A stall become a shrine.

The child through David's city
Shall ride in triumph by;
The palm shall strew its branches,
And every stone shall cry.
And every stone shall cry,
Though heavy, dull, and dumb,
And lie within the roadway
to pave his kingdom come.

Yet he shall be forsaken,
And yielded up to die;
The sky shall groan and darken,
And every stone shall cry.
And every stone shall cry,
For stony hearts of men:
God's blood upon the spearhead,
God's love refused again.

But now, as at the ending,
The low is lifted high;
The stars shall bend their voices,
And every stone shall cry.
And every stone shall cry
In praises of the child
By whose descent among us
The worlds are reconciled

by Richard Wilbur, a former Poet Laureate of the United States

The Proclamation Of The Birth Of Christ

The Roman Martyrology for Christmas day contains a formal announcement of the birth of Christ in the style of a proclamation.  It begins with creation and relates the birth of the Lord to the major events and personages of sacred and secular history.  The particular events contained in the proclamation help to situate the birth of Jesus in the context of salvation history.

The Proclamation of the Birth of Christ may be sung or proclaimed after the greeting and introduction of the Christmas Midnight Mass.  The Gloria and opening prayer immediately follow the proclamation.

Today, the twenty-fifth day of December, unknown ages from the time when God created the heavens and the earth and then formed man and women in his own image.

Several thousand years after the flood, when God made the rainbow shine forth as a sign of the covenant.

Twenty-one centuries from the time of Abraham and Sarah; thirteen centuries after Moses led this people of Israel out of Egypt.

Eleven hundred years from the time of Ruth and the Judges; one thousand years from the anointing of David as king; in the sixty-fifth week according to the prophecy of Daniel.

In the one hundred and ninety-fourth Olympiad; the seven hundred and fifty-second year from the foundation of the city of Rome.

The forty-second year of the reign of Octavian Augustus; the whole world being at peace, Jesus Christ, eternal God and Son of the eternal Father, desiring to sanctify the world by his most merciful coming, being conceived by the Holy Spirit, and nine months having passed since his conception, was born in Bethlehem of Judea of the Virgin Mary.

Today is the nativity of our Lord Jesus Christ according to the flesh.

Holiday Reminder: The Price For Peace On Earth

The Final Inspection

The Marine stood and faced God,
Which must always come to pass.
He hoped his shoes were shining,
Just as brightly as his brass.
'Step forward now, Marine,
How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek?

To My Church have you been true?'
The soldier squared his shoulders and said,
'No, Lord, I guess I ain't.
Because those of us who carry guns,

Can't always be a saint.
I've had to work most Sundays,
And at times my talk was tough.
And sometimes I've been violent,

Because the world is awfully rough.
But, I never took a penny,
That wasn't mine to keep...
Though I worked a lot of overtime,

When the bills got just too steep.
And I never passed a cry for help,
Though at times I shook with fear.
And sometimes, God, forgive me,

I've wept unmanly tears.
I know I don't deserve a place,
Among the people here.
They never wanted me around,

Except to calm their fears
If you've a place for me here, Lord,
It needn't be so grand.
I never expected or had too much,

But if you don't, I'll understand.
There was a silence all around the throne,
Where the saints had often trod.
As the Marine waited quietly,  

For the judgment of his God.
'Step forward now, you Marine,
You've borne your burdens well.
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,

You've done your time in Hell.'

~Author Unknown~ 

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Thoughts For Christmas

The mystery of Christmas lays upon us all a debt and an obligation to the rest of [humankind] and to the whole created universe. We who have seen the light of Christ are obliged, by the greatness of the grace that has been given us, to make known the presence of the Savior to the ends of the earth. This we will do not by preaching the glad tidings of His coming, but above all by revealing Him in our lives. Christ is born to us today, in order that He may appear to the whole world through us.

Thomas Merton
Seasons of Celebration

 

This one day is the day of His birth, but every day of our mortal lives must be his manifestation, His divine Epiphany, in the world which He has created and redeemed.

Thomas Merton
Seasons of Celebration

'Twas the Night Before Christmas: 2008 White House Press Basement Version

'Twas the night before Christmas and in the White House,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

Stockings were hung in the West Wing with care,

In hopes that January 20th soon would be there.

The president was asleep, all snug in his bed,

While visions of Texas danced in his head.

Can't wait to leave D.C., so cold and callous,

For the comfy confines of a new home in Dallas.

Barney was napping next to the nightstand,

Eager to bite another journalist's hand.

Both Bushes settled down for long winter naps,

Hoping to avert the automakers' collapse.

What a year it had been, with its twists and its turns,

From Jenna's summer wedding to meltdown concerns.

From the pope's springtime visit and his "awesome" speech,

To the shoe-throwing incident — a security breach.

There were stimulus checks to boost buyin' and sellin',

Then came the book from disgruntled McClellan.

In the campaign, Republicans were bailin',

Bush was kept far from McCain and Ms. Palin.

Suddenly, there arose on the lawn such a clatter,

Dubya jumped up to see what was the matter.

When, what to his wondering eyes did he see?

But a limo coming — from Treasury.

Out stepped Hank Paulson in a red Santa suit,

Complete with white beard and shiny black boots.

He was armed with a checkbook to fix the recession,

Handing out billions for every subprime transgression.

"Now Fannie! Now Freddie! And now A-I-G!

"On Bankers! On Wall Street! And Detroit's Big Three!

"We're pumping in cash for liquidity,

"And boosting long-term viability."

The phone rang inside and Bush answered in time,

A call from Chicago — Obama on the line.

"Sorry it's late. What an imposition."

"No problem," said Bush. "Just part of the transition."

Barack bemoaned Blagojevich; boy, what a creep —

The audacity, the hair, the (bleep, bleep, bleep).

Facing last-minute jitters, Obama needed advice,

The war, the economy, anything would suffice.

And I heard Bush exclaim, without blowing his fuse:

"Merry Christmas to all! Watch out for the shoes!"

May Your Christmas Be Merry And Bright

In a world where many believe God to be absent,

we place our trust in Jesus Christ,

God's law of love made flesh in our midst,

whose coming we prepare to celebrate with joy.

Come , Lord Jesus!

You came to make visible God's creative love for all people:
-- kindle in your people the fire of your love amid the dulling cold of winter.

You came to make visible God's fidelity to his promise of salvation:
--make vibrant your people's fidelity in a time of broken promises and hollow words.

You cam to make visible God's presence in every time and place:
--renew our faith in your abiding presence.

May the blessings of almighty God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, descend upon us and remain with us for ever!

-- Magnificat

Basement Poem

Trees are trimmed, wreaths are hung, which means it's time for the annual White House "basement poem," written and recited with limited fanfare each yuletide season by one of the correspondents confined to the basement press room of the White House.

This year, Greg Clugston of the Salem Radio Network did the honors (and yes, we can confirm that White House spokeswoman Dana Perino ducked downstairs for the reading). Here's a shortened version:

'Twas the night before Christmas and in the White House,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

Stockings were hung in the West Wing with care,

In hopes a war supplemental soon would be there.

The president was asleep, all snug in his bed,

While visions of vetoes danced in his head.

Clashes with Democrats he won again and again,

Squashing their bills with a stroke of his pen.

S-CHIP and stem cells were both turned away,

And Bush rejected timetables for troops in harm's way.

The president "surged" more troops into Iraq,

Helping lower violence and suicide attacks.

He lobbied for FISA to connect terrorist dots,

Tying Speaker Pelosi and Reid up in knots.

Bush's low approval numbers remained a bitter pill,

Except when comparing them to leaders on the Hill.

All of a sudden there arose such a clatter,

Dubya jumped up to see what was the matter.

And what to wondering eyes did appear?

A man wearing nothing — but holiday cheer.

There stood Musharraf, risking laughter and scorn,

Making good on a pledge to take off his uniform.

Next, Santa arrived on his toy-laden sleigh,

With a top-secret document from the C I of A.

Bush read the intel: no nukes in Iran,

So much for launching a military plan.

And I heard him exclaim after reading the NIE:

"Merry Christmas to all, forget World War Three!"

Washington Times
"Inside The Beltway"
December 17, 2007

Beacon Of Hope And Peace

Christmastime is, without doubt, the busiest time of the year.

We’re all so involved with preparing for the celebrations that we often forget the reason for the celebration itself.

Our lives between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day are sometimes just a blur.

Shopping for gifts and groceries.

Planning and preparing parties and dinners.

Attending parties and dinners.

Finding a Tree.

Decorating the house.

Amid all this confusion, let’s take a brief moment to focus on the central theme of this holiday.

We find it expressed in the Bible, in the Gospel according to Luke:

“An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were afraid. But the angel said to them: ‘Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.’

“’Today in the city of David, a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.

“’This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger.’”

Keep those thoughts in mind as you go about the Christmas bustle, and remember that the birth of the baby in Bethlehem continues to be a beacon of hope for peace on Earth, good will to all.

I wish you a joyous Christmas and good will to all.

Christmas Season Is Here

Childhood memories, wishes, hopes and dreams.

A Different Christmas Poem

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.
The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,
Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.
My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.
A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.
"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"
For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts.
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,
I'm out here by choice.
I'm here every night."
"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at 'Pearl' on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother.
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."
"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."
Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
"For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

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Twas The Month Before Christmas

Twas the month before Christmas
When all through our land,
Not a Christian was praying
Nor taking a stand.
See the PC Police had taken away,
The reason for Christmas - no one could say.
The children were told by their schools not to sing,
About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.
It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say
December 25th is just a "Holiday".
Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit
Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!
CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod
Something was changing, something quite odd!
Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.
As Targets were hanging their trees upside down
At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.
At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears
You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.
Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty
Are words that were used to intimidate me.
Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen
On Bush, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton!
At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter
To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.
And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith;
Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace
The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded
The reason for the season, stopped before it started.
So as you celebrate "Winter Break" under your "Dream Tree"
Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.
Choose your words carefully, choose what you say
Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS,
not Happy Holiday!