Today's Jargon

2-Liter Bottle:
The opposite of six-pack abs. It is more commonly known among middle-aged men as a beer gut.

Age Fraud:
The misrepresentation of one's age, particularly as a way of gaining an unfair advantage in a sports competition. Also: age-fraud.

Beer Googles:
Searching the internett while intoxicated.

Climate Porn:
Extreme or alarmist language or images used to describe the current or future effects of man-made climate change. Also: climate pornography.

Ecosexual:
A single, environmentally conscious person with a strong aesthetic sense. Also: eco-sexual — ecosexuality. Good looks, a sense of humour, education and high income count for zilch these days if you don't eat organic, wear organic and recycle.

Fake Bake:
The brand name for a sunless tanning solution that comes in lotion, spray, mousse and lip gloss (no kidding). In its lower case form, it’s also another name for indoor tanning salons.

Fauxtography:
The practice of creating faked photographs, usually by manipulating the images with software.

Food Miles:
The distance that a food item travels from its source to the consumer. Also: food mile.

Giggle Test:
A symbolic test used to determine whether something is legitimate or serious.

Glass Cliff:
A senior job or important project, particularly one given to a woman, with a high risk of failure (cf. glass ceiling).

Goldilocks Planet:
A planet that can support life because it is neither too hot nor too cold, too big nor too small, too near its star nor too far – one whose size, temperature and composition are all just right for life.

Hummer House:
A huge and architecturally inappropriate house built in an existing neighborhood destroying the aesthetic integrity of said neighborhood.

Jet Blued:
To spend more time sitting on the runway than in the air. "I got Jet Blued this weekend."

Male Answer Syndrome:
The tendency for some men to answer a question even when they don't know the answer. Also: MAS.

Password Fatigue:
Mental exhaustion and frustration caused by having to remember a large number of passwords.

Payroll Orphan:
Someone who has lost his or her job.

Shoot Ahead Of The Duck:
Think ahead. Plan. You have to aim where you think the duck will be, not where it is when you pull the trigger.

Silver Industry:
The business sector that focuses on products and services for seniors.

Slabs Of Meet:
A cluster of big, wannabe athletes that gather around giant plasma TVs to watch sporting events, such as the Super Bowl, etc. In honor of the "slabs of meet" (meat) typo in the definition of "mancation."

Toothpick Rule:
As part of the sweeping ethics reforms approved on Capitol Hill in 2007, in theory, the law bars lawmakers and their staffs from accepting any meals from lobbyists that can't be picked up with a toothpick. Hors d'oeuvres are OK, obviously. Just don't pick your tongue. (Lobbists are already looking for a strong toothpick.)

Urban Lumberjack:
A logger who works in an urban environment collecting and selling wood retrieved from demolished buildings or downed trees.