Happiness

Apparently, abiding happiness is not for me, perhaps because I haven't made enough progress.
Or maybe it's because I'm different to the extent that, while I am somewhat like everyone else, I am exactly like me.
My friends would hardly think of me as a glum, cantankerous killjoy, but then they don't know me like I know me.
I'm running scared most of the time, so I lean heavily upon God, daily.
There are times when I am just sane enough to get by in the world.
There are other times when I'd like to lie down and die right now, while I'm ahead of the game.
Maybe God keeps me weak and dependent upon Him so I may need Him all the more.

Happiness is part of the journey, not some distant destination.