Basement Poem

Trees are trimmed, wreaths are hung, which means it's time for the annual White House "basement poem," written and recited with limited fanfare each yuletide season by one of the correspondents confined to the basement press room of the White House.

This year, Greg Clugston of the Salem Radio Network did the honors (and yes, we can confirm that White House spokeswoman Dana Perino ducked downstairs for the reading). Here's a shortened version:

'Twas the night before Christmas and in the White House,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

Stockings were hung in the West Wing with care,

In hopes a war supplemental soon would be there.

The president was asleep, all snug in his bed,

While visions of vetoes danced in his head.

Clashes with Democrats he won again and again,

Squashing their bills with a stroke of his pen.

S-CHIP and stem cells were both turned away,

And Bush rejected timetables for troops in harm's way.

The president "surged" more troops into Iraq,

Helping lower violence and suicide attacks.

He lobbied for FISA to connect terrorist dots,

Tying Speaker Pelosi and Reid up in knots.

Bush's low approval numbers remained a bitter pill,

Except when comparing them to leaders on the Hill.

All of a sudden there arose such a clatter,

Dubya jumped up to see what was the matter.

And what to wondering eyes did appear?

A man wearing nothing — but holiday cheer.

There stood Musharraf, risking laughter and scorn,

Making good on a pledge to take off his uniform.

Next, Santa arrived on his toy-laden sleigh,

With a top-secret document from the C I of A.

Bush read the intel: no nukes in Iran,

So much for launching a military plan.

And I heard him exclaim after reading the NIE:

"Merry Christmas to all, forget World War Three!"

Washington Times
"Inside The Beltway"
December 17, 2007