Must Suffer Greatly

O my God, you who do not refuse me suffering.
For some time you have accustomed me to love you in the deprivation of all sensible joys, in a suffering heart, and often enough in an exhausted body.
I accept all from your hand and unite myself to your will.
It is not just having received al from you I should give you something in return, and that I should offer you the trials, prayers, sacrifices, and humble activity that is your daily design for me?
Through it all I want to try, by your grace, to maintain joy of spirit.
O God, for some time you have given me the grace of suffering: spiritual trials, the renunciation of my desires and tastes, deeply felt spiritual isolation.
How well you know how to choose the most appropriate suffering, the one that crucifies us and allows the least possibility of selfishness.
In my illness there were still subtle temptations for me, and satisfactions that were legitimate and yet too worldly.
In leaving me this physical misery, with its inconveniences and helplessness, you have given again hidden this from others and sent me other trials that are very painful and known only to you.
From the bottom of my heart, I say to you, “Thank you.”
Blessed are you, O God, for all this pain, through which you allow me to atone for my faults, draw near your heart, and also to obtain, I hope, many spiritual graces for many people, as well as for those I love.
My God, help me to carry the cross you have offered me, and let none of this precious grace of suffering be lost.

-- Elisabeth Leseur