My Dark Side

Have you ever gone outside at night and looked closely at the new moon?
Or looked through a telescope at the moon when it was crescent shaped?
Although what we see is a bright slice, we know there's more.
Even when the moon is full and lights the night sky, there's a dark side to the moon.

There's a dark side to me too.
I experience jealousy, envy, bitterness, resentment.
How about neediness? Ugh.
Who wants to shine a light on that?

What about all those fears?
Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of intimacy, fear of going broke, fear of the unknown, fear of growing old, fear of being alone, fear of being with someone, fear of losing control.

Then there are other parts of me that I would prefer to keep darkened and out of sight, parts such as greed, dishonesty, intolerance, disgust, hatred.
And what about our manipulative part?
Who wants anyone to see that?

I may even consider the dark side of myself forbidden.
I may refuse to acknowledge it exists because I believe it's wrong.
Not acknowledging my dark side doesn't wish it out of existence, any more than not seeing the dark side of the moon makes it disappear.

Most sane people agree that they don't want to be controlled by their dark side.
I don't want parts of myself - jealousy, neediness, and greed - to control my behaviors.
But when I don't acknowledge these emotions and traits, they can gain control.
The more I try to repress something, the more it fights for its life.

I don't need to be afraid.
I can shine a light on that dark part.
At least look at it briefly.
Acknowledge it's there.
Take some of the pressure off.
Let me be well rounded, instead of one-dimensional.
I don't just have a light side, a bright side.
Nobody is always loving, always kind, always generous, and always thoughtful.