Weeds In My Garden

Looking honestly and unflinchingly at my behavior, while at the same time having compassion for myself, is a powerful combination.
I have the opportunity to change for the better, not to demand perfection of myself or others.
My perfectionism sometimes makes me forget that I'm engaged in a process of change over time. It also lets me exaggerate both how "good" and "bad" I am.
I need to remind myself not to compare my insides with other people's outsides.
I have my own unique gifts; accepting and nurturing these gifts brings me joy and allows me to contribute to the human community.
I am capable of feeling love and compassion for others who are far from perfect.
I can learn to extend that love and compassion to myself.

Inner Demons
by Gerry Straub
No one is untouched by fears, neuross and anxieties.
Unless they are brought into the light,
they are free to terrorize us.
Life is all about healing oneself.
Face your shadow,
confront your inner demons.
We tend to deny in the darkness
what we experienced in the light.

How often do we rediscover the Psalmist’s insight: hidden quilt festers; honest admission of guilt heals!
Sin is self-love to the point of contempt for God.
The way to overcome sin is love of God to the point of contempt of self.

With joyful trust, let me own my sins before the Lord who gladly forgives.
O God, be merciful to me, a sinner.
For words and deeds of impatience and anger – pardon me, O Lord!
For words and deeds of selfish grasping – pardon me, O Lord!
For words and deeds of unkindness – pardon me, O Lord!
For those sins of which I am most ashamed – pardon me, O Lord!

O Lord, all my guilt lies open to you,
all my secret sins are known to you,
all my ugly ways are clear before you,
yet you never cease to offer me your redeeming love.
Have mercy on me in my pitiful attempts
to cloak my sinfulness with false bravado,
and grant me the joy that comes
with full repentance. Amen

I Did Not Know

I did not know that it was physically impossible for me to drink moderately.
I did not know that my body's drinking machinery had worn out, and that the parts could not be replaced.
I did not know that just one drink made it impossible for me to control my behavior and conduct and my future drinking.
I did not know, in short, that I was powerless over alcohol.

Experience, Strength and Hope, p. 153

Friends of Silence

From my other brother Don:

"We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness.  God is a friend of silence.  See how nature - trees, flowers, grass - grows in silence; see the stars, the moon, and the sun, how they move in silence.  Is not our mission to give God to the poor in the slums?  Not a dead God, but a living, loving God.  The more we receive in silent prayer, the more we can give in our active life.

We need silence to be able to touch souls.  The essential thing is not what we say, but what God says to us and through us.  All our words will be useless unless they come from within; words that do not give the light of Christ increase the darkness."

Mother Teresa of Calcutta, A Gift for God: Prayers and Meditations
[New York: Harper, Row Publishers, Inc., 1975 - pages 68-69]

Spiritual House

All of us are given a spiritual "house" 

to build, to live in, and 

to hand on to future generations: 

what will yours look like?

~~~ @@ ~~~

Enlightenment is the result

 of your thoughts being 

a certain distance apart.

~~~ @@ ~~~

Rewards

Most importantly, I know who I am, I know my goals, dreams, values, and boundaries, and I know how to protect, nurture, and validate them.

Those are the true rewards of sobriety, and they're what I was looking for all along. . .

I came to AA in order to stop drinking; what I received in return was my life.

Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 327

 

The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.

 

STOP = Sobriety Tops Our Priorities.

He Is Crazy About You!

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.

If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.

He sends you flowers every spring.

He sends you a sunrise every morning.

Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!

God didn't promise 

days without pain, 

laughter without sorrow, 

sun without rain, 

but He did promise 

strength for the day, 

comfort for the tears, 

and light for the way.

 

If God brings you to it,

He will bring you through it.

 

Minute Meditation -- Living Sober

Somewhat to our surprise, staying sober turns out not to be the grim, wet-blanket experience we had expected!

While we were drinking, a life without alcohol seemed like no life at all.

But for most members of AA, living sober is really living -- a joyous experience.

We much prefer it to the troubles we had with drinking.

One more note: anyone can get sober.

We have all done it lots of times.

The trick is to stay and to live sober.

Living Sober, preface 

 

Every recovery from alcoholism
began with one sober hour.

 

T H I N K = The Happiness I Never Knew.

 

~~ @@ ~~

Minute Meditation

In a culture which values autonomy and self-reliance, I sometime imagine that I can call only on my own personal strength to shoulder the burdens of those I care for and to face my own difficulties.

My recovery reminds me again and again that God’s love is my true source of strength.

On him the strongest person can lean without apology.

 

My mind is out to get my ass.

 

~~ @@ ~~

Emotional sobriety

If we examine every disturbance we have, great or small, we will find at the root of it some unhealthy dependency and its consequent unhealthy demand.

Let us, with God's help, continually surrender these hobbling demands.

Then we can be set free to live and love; we may then be able to Twelfth Step ourselves and others into emotional sobriety.

The Language of the Heart, p. 238

 

Sobriety is a journey,
not a destination.

 

S W A T = Surrender, Willingness, Action, Trust.

 

~~ @@ ~~

A Meaningful Life

Through AA, I was able to forge my character into something that was compatible with a functional and meaningful life. 

I learned that sobriety isn't a discrete list of tasks that you do and then check off; it's a state of being that pervades every facet of your life. 

I can now take solace knowing that as long as I'm a good person, my Higher Power will look out for me. 

And in order to be a good person, I have to be sober. 

And the only way I can stay sober is through the support of Alcoholics Anonymous.

AA Grapevine, July 2008

 

AA is not something you join;
it's a way of life.

 

AA = Always Awesome.

 

~~ @@ ~~

 

Daily Prayer

Encouraged by the faith of Mary, our Mother, I pray:

Through the intercession of Mary, grant my prayer!

 For those who hear only the dissonant clamor of despair:

‑ fill them with the new song of salvation.

Through the intercession of Mary, grant my prayer!

 For those who see only endless night of sin and death:

‑ awaken them to the day of salvation

Through the intercession of Mary, grant my prayer!

For those who place their hope in you:

‑ reward their faith with joy.

Through the intercession of Mary, grant my prayer!

 

Father of light, let the light of your face shine upon the darkness of our sin.

Through the intercession of Mary, our Mother, free me from the shadows to which I cling and draw me into the light of your eternal kingdom.

 

Amen

 

~~ @@ ~~

Did Not Recognize Him

I may seek my Creator, weeping when he is not to be found in prayer, in worship, in my daily round of activities, only to come upon him in the most unexpected of places and discover that he has been there all along.
It was I who did not recognize him.

Dykes Of Courage

We must constantly build dykes of courage
to hold back the flood of fear.

-- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Courage doesn't mean putting myself in stressful or unpleasant situations.
Courage doesn't mean controlling my emotions.
Courage is the ability to strengthen myself against the fear and despair of life, rather than be drowned by it.

I can be grateful for my courage and strengthen it.

Stepping over Our Wounds

Sometimes we have to "step over" our anger, our jealousy, or our feelings of rejection and move on.
The temptation is to get stuck in our negative emotions, poking around in them as if we belong there.
Then we become the "offended one," "the forgotten one," or the "discarded one."
Yes, we can get attached to these negative identities and even take morbid pleasure in them.
It might be good to have a look at these dark feelings and explore where they come from, but there comes a moment to step over them, leave them behind and travel on.

-- Henri Nouwen

Over My Morning Coffee

God is the mirror of silence in which all creation is reflected.
Paramahansa Yogananda


What can we gain by sailing to the moon if we are not able to cross the abyss that separates us from ourselves?
This is the most important of all voyages of discovery, and without it, all the rest are not only useless, but disastrous.
Thomas Merton


Love all that has been created by God, both the whole and every grain of sand.
Love every leaf and every ray of light.
Love the beasts and the birds, love the plants, love every separate fragment.
If you love each separate fragment, you will understand the mystery of the whole resting in God.
Fyodor Dostoevsky


So much of modern life is a feverish anticipation of future activity and excitement.
We have to learn to step back from this into the freedom and possibility of the present.
Fr. Bede Griffiths


God always provides what we need, but we must be ready to open our eyes and see it.
The Midrash


Riding sidesaddle with envy is a dangerous practice:
I would be happy if I had what he or she possesses.
By contrast, giving thanks constantly and in all circumstances liberates us from envy.
Edward Hays

There only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self.
So you have to begin there, not outside, not on other people.
That comes afterward, when you've worked on your own corner.
Aldous Huxley

Life has lessons to teach.
We can remember them and share them with others, or we can forget them and have to learn them again.
Jan Pishok

The love of our neighbor in all its fullness simply means being able to say to him:
"What are you going through?"
Simone Weil

If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to live the life, which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
Henry David Thoreau