The Voice in the Garden of Solitude

Solitude is the garden for our hearts, which yearn for love.
It is the place where our aloneness can bear fruit.
It is the home for our restless bodies and anxious minds.
Solitude, whether it is connected with a physical space or not, is essential for our spiritual lives.
It is not an easy place to be, since we are so insecure and fearful that we are easily distracted by whatever promises immediate satisfaction.
Solitude is not immediately satisfying, because in solitude we meet our demons, our addictions, our feelings of lust and anger, and our immense need for recognition and approval.
But if we do not run away, we will meet there also the One who says, "Do not be afraid. I am with you, and I will guide you through the valley of darkness."

Let's keep returning to our solitude.

-- Henri Nouwen

Yearning for Perfect Love

When we act out of loneliness our actions easily become violent.
The tragedy is that much violence comes from a demand for love.
When loneliness drives our search for love, kissing easily leads to biting, caressing to hitting, looking tenderly to looking suspiciously, listening to overhearing, and surrender to rape.
The human heart yearns for love: love without conditions, limitations, or restrictions.
But no human being is capable of offering such love, and each time we demand it we set ourselves on the road to violence.

How then can we live nonviolent lives?
We must start by realizing that our restless hearts, yearning for perfect love, can only find that love through communion with the One who created them.

-- Henri Nouwen

Finding Solitude

All human beings are alone.
No other person will completely feel like we do, think like we do, act like we do.
Each of us is unique, and our aloneness is the other side of our uniqueness.
The question is whether we let our aloneness become loneliness or whether we allow it to lead us into solitude.
Loneliness is painful; solitude is peaceful.
Loneliness makes us cling to others in desperation; solitude allows us to respect others in their uniqueness and create community.

Letting our aloneness grow into solitude and not into loneliness is a lifelong struggle.
It requires conscious choices about whom to be with, what to study, how to pray, and when to ask for counsel.
But wise choices will help us to find the solitude where our hearts can grow in love.

-- Henri Nouwen

Two Kinds of Loneliness

In the spiritual life we have to make a distinction between two kinds of loneliness.
In the first loneliness, we are out of touch with God and experience ourselves as anxiously looking for someone or something that can give us a sense of belonging, intimacy, and home.
The second loneliness comes from an intimacy with God that is deeper and greater than our feelings and thoughts can capture.

We might think of these two kinds of loneliness as two forms of blindness.
The first blindness comes from the absence of light, the second from too much light.
The first loneliness we must try to outgrow with faith and hope.
The second we must be willing to embrace in love.

-- Henri Nouwen