I began to feel like a clown juggling too many balls.
Each ball represented a problem I was keeping up in the air.
My arms were weary and I knew I couldn't keep on much longer,but I was not about to give up.
My pride and ego wouldn't let me.
Bosses, judges, co-workers, lawyers, car notes, bar tabs, loan sharks, utility payments, landlords, my girlfriend, people I had double-crossed -- I looked to all these as the source of my problems, while overlooking the most basic problem:
my drinking and myself.
I'd known for a long time that I desperately wanted off this merry-go-round,
but I had no idea how to do it.
-- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 506
Swallowing my pride will not get me drunk.
