Forgiveness

One forgives to the degree that one loves. -- La Rochefaucould

This is what forgiveness is:

(1) loving ourselves enough to stand up for ourselves,

(2) loving others enough to point out their behavior, and

(3) letting go.

Spirit of the Universe, help me lovingly forgive those who have hurt me.

Forgive and Forget

by Pir-o-Murshid Inayat Khan

In order to learn forgiveness man must learn tolerance first.

And there are people whom man cannot forgive.

It is not that he must not forgive, but it is difficult, beyond his power to forgive, and in that case the first thing he can do is to forget.

The first step towards forgiveness is to forget.

They say, 'Forgive and forget', which is very expressive of the process of forgiveness.

It is impossible to forgive unless you can forget.

What keeps man from forgiving his fellow man is that he holds the fault of another constantly before his view.

It is just like sticking a little thorn in one's own heart and keeping it there and suffering the pain.

It may also be pictured as putting a drop of poison in one's own heart and retaining it until the whole heart becomes poisoned.

Verily, blessed are the innocent, who do not notice anybody's fault, and the greater credit is to the mature souls, who, recognizing a fault, forget it and so forgive.

How true are the words of Christ, 'Let those throw a stone who have not sinned.'

The limitations of human life make man subject to faults.

Some have more faults, some have less, but there is no soul without faults.

As Christ says, 'Call me not good.'

Forgiveness is a stream of love, which washes away all impurities wherever it flows.

By keeping this spring of love, which is in the heart of man, running, man is able to forgive, however great the fault of his fellow man may seem.

One who cannot forgive closes his heart.

The sign of spirituality is that there is nothing you cannot forgive, there is no fault you cannot forget.

Do not think that he who has committed a fault yesterday must do the same today, for life is constantly teaching and it is possible in one moment a sinner may turn into a saint.

The first step towards forgiveness is to forget.

Bowl of Saki, by Hazrat Inayat Khan

A Rainy Sunday In SC

Another lazy and rainy Sunday in South Carolina. Started the day off with my brothers and sisters at the Dark Side. It is also a great way to start a Sunday of pray and the week ahead – with the Force.

Hear two things that I will add to my tool bag for life as I trudge the spiritual path before me.

(1) When God close one door in my life, he opens a new one for me to walk through. It is the hallways of life that suck.

(2) Choosing who is forgiven and who is not is above my pay grade. I can only ask for the willingness to forgive all in my life on a daily basis.

I found the following on the pains of life in my daily readings.

Grief and crisis . . . accept it as a wise teacher. Life brings trial
& defeat as part of its package. . . . Out of defeat is born new strength. . . . The false comforts of self-pity and blame may tempt us in our pain, but they take much more from us than they give back.

It has been an awesome day and it is not my fault. Keep adjusting your sails and may the good of the day be with you.

P.S.

It is blackberry picking time in SC and GA. Read about it: http://blogs.augusta.com/node/2865

Forgiveness & Freedom

It is the act of forgiveness that

opens up the only possible way to think

creatively about the future at all.

-- Father Desmond Wilson

 

Today is full of endless possibilities and dreams.

In many cases, I are limited only by my fear and lack of hope, in others and ourselves myself.

Each new day I am given a clean page to live in my book of life.

What freedom I find when I choose to practice the art of forgiveness.

Forgiving others and myself will allow me to step into this new day as free human beings.

Freedom is a gift I give myself every time I choose not to react to a hurtful comment.

Holding on to old resentments keeps my creative energy trapped and stifled.

My choices are these: new freedom or old resentment.

I choose new freedom.

It is the gift I give myself when I choose not to let the sun rise on yesterday's script.

Today let me forgive everyone and anything - past and present - that might distract me from my spiritual growth.

Blame

As kids, he {God} has us perceive monsters coming to get us; as adults who think they’re beyond this whole monster business, we grow blind to the monster’s identity and full of guilt at how we’ve cooperated with its tricks.

And it’s here where we become trapped:  we train ourselves to get used to the discomfort and alienation of evil, since the trick of sin isn’t so much the evil itself as much as the self-hatred it engenders, the sense of that we are no longer the sons of the Father and worthy of facing him, and so we build our lives, build cultures, around the pain of this identity loss.

Dino Gerard D’Agata, Praying with Saint Paul

 

Lord, when we are tempted to define ourselves
by the compromise that sets in when we do evil,
by the feeling of guilt and recrimination,
lift us with your grace and help us see
that our cooperation with evil is the source of this,
 and that you only stand by, ready to make us
new in every instant.  Amen.

Two Hands Of God

The perfect love of our heavenly Father includes as well as transcends all the love that a father and mother can have for their children.

We may think about the two hands of God embracing us as a mother's hand and a father's hand: 

one caressing, consoling, and comforting, 

the other supporting, encouraging, and empowering.

We too are called to be father and mother to those who want to come home.

Henri Nouwen

 

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Forgiving

One forgives to the degree that one loves.

La Rochefoucauld

This is what forgiveness is:
(1) loving ourselves enough to stand up for ourselves,
(2) loving others enough to point out their behavior, and
(3) letting go.

St. Peter Regalado

St. Peter Regalado
(1390-1456)

Peter lived at a very busy time. The Great Western Schism (1378-1417) was settled at the Council of Constance (1414-1418).
France and England were fighting the Hundred Years’ War, and in 1453 the Byzantine Empire was completely wiped out by the loss of Constantinople to the Turks.
At Peter’s death the age of printing had just begun in Germany, and Columbus's arrival in the New World was less than 40 years away.

Peter led the friars by his example.
A special love of the poor and the sick characterized Peter. Miraculous stories are told about his charity to the poor.
For example, the bread never seemed to run out as long as Peter had hungry people to feed.
Throughout most of his life, Peter went hungry; he lived only on bread and water.

St.Peter was an effective leader of the friars
because he did not become ensnared
in anger over the sins of others.

Peter helped sinning friars rearrange
the priorities in their lives and
dedicate themselves to living the gospel
of Jesus Christ as they had vowed.

This patient correction is
an act of charity available
to all Franciscans,

not just to superiors.

Act Of Self-Kindness

The old law of "an eye for an eye"

leaves everybody blind.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Forgiving can also help me take back my power.
As long as I believe that someone else's actions are the cause of my present difficulties, I am powerless to change.
Letting go of blame allows me to take responsibility for my life.
All this adds up to a single point.
Forgiveness is an act of self-kindness.
It liberates my life force.
It completes the past.
I can choose now to heal my old unfinished business.
It is time to let go of the pain.
I can place my hurt on an altar and surrender it to God.
Set myself and others free.

Forgive

Forgive, O Lord, forgive.

You forgave your people in the desert:
--forgive your people today when we give our obedience to the gods of this world.

You fed your people in the desert:
-- forgive your people today when we fed on words other than your own.

You gave your people water from the rock:
-- forgive your people today when we quench our thirst at fountains that give no life.

You know, O Lord, our weakness.

You know the seductive power of the gods of our world.

Forgive, protect, deliver your people in our foolish waywardness.

Responsibililty

It is always tempting to take credit for the gifts of grace and to lay the blame elsewhere for my faults.
If I do not claim responsibility for the choices that are truly mine, neither can I ask for or accept forgiveness.
To heavy for me, mine own offenses; to heavy not to allow my Creator to wipe them away.

The Key To Freedom

Holding resentments against others hurts me.

Forgiveness can make me glad I'm alive today.

Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom.
--Hannah Arendt

Resentments keep me in the past, a past that can never be relived.
Resentments keep a stranglehold on my mind.
Resentments keep me from appreciating the beauty of a moment.
Resentments stop me from hearing the loving voices of friends.
I forget that I have a mission to fulfill God's divine plan for my life.
Clearly the choice to resent no one is my opportunity to free my mind and heart for the real activities God hopes I will attend to.
Our purpose in this life goes unfulfilled when we're consumed by resentments.
Fortunately, my freedom comes when I decide to forgive whatever transgressions are made against me.

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Healing Our Own Heart

Forgiving the other is first and foremost an inner movement. It is an act that removes anger, bitterness, and the desire for revenge from our hearts and helps us to reclaim our human dignity. . . . The only people we can really change are ourselves. Forgiving others is first and foremost healing our own hearts.

Henri Nouwen

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Forgiveness, The Way To Freedom

To forgive another person from the heart is an act of liberation.
We set that person free from the negative bonds that exist between us.
We say, "I no longer hold your offense against you."
But there is more.
We also free ourselves from the burden of being the "offended one."
As long as we do not forgive those who have wounded us, we carry them with us or, worse, pull them as a heavy load.
The great temptation is to cling in anger to our enemies and then define ourselves as being offended and wounded by them.
Forgiveness, therefore, liberates not only the other but also ourselves.
It is the way to the freedom of the children of God.

Henri Nouwen

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Sins Forgiven

We cannot live with each other with forgiving, for each person is always at fault before others: a husband before his wife, children before their parents, parents before children, neighbors before neighbors.
We are people, living human beings, and if we were unable to forgive one another, then the whole world would turn into a hell, hate-filled chaos.
So let us begin today.
Let us call to mind all the evil there is in our lives and leave it on the threshold.
Of course, I know this is difficult, but after all it is God’s work.

-- Father Alexander Men

Father Man († 1990) was a priest in the Russian Orthodox Church and a prolific author.

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The Task of Reconciliation

From Bread for the Journey, by Henri Nouwen

What is our task in this world as children of God and brothers and sisters of Jesus?
Our task is reconciliation.
Wherever we go we see divisions among people - in families, communities, cities, countries, and continents.
All these divisions are tragic reflections of our separation from God.
The truth that all people belong together as members of one family under God is seldom visible.
Our sacred task is to reveal that truth in the reality of everyday life.

Why is that our task?
Because God sent Christ to reconcile us with God and to give us the task of reconciling people with one another.
As people reconcile with God through Christ we have been given the ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18).
So whatever we do the main question is, Does it lead to reconciliation among people?

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To the degree that we accept that through Christ we ourselves have been reconciled with God we can be messengers of reconciliation for others.
Essential to the work of reconciliation is a nonjudgmental presence.
We are not sent to the world to judge, to condemn, to evaluate, to classify, or to label. When we walk around as if we have to make up our mind about people and tell them what is wrong with them and how they should change, we will only create more division.
Jesus says it clearly: "Be compassionate just as your Father is compassionate. Do not judge; ... do not condemn; ... forgive" (Luke 6:36-37).

In a world that constantly asks us to make up our minds about other people, a nonjudgmental presence seems nearly impossible.
But it is one of the most beautiful fruits of a deep spiritual life and will be easily recognized by those who long for reconciliation.

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When we are free from the need to judge or condemn, we can become safe places for people to meet in vulnerability and take down the walls that separate them.
Being deeply rooted in the love of God, we cannot help but invite people to love one another.
When people realise that we have no hidden agendas or unspoken intentions, that we are not trying to gain any profit for ourselves, and that our only desire is for peace and reconciliation, they may find the inner freedom and courage to leave their guns at the door and enter into conversation with their enemies.

Many this happens even without our planning.
Our ministry of reconciliation most often takes place when we ourselves are least aware of it.
Our simple, nonjudgmental presence does it.

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Reconciliation is much more than a one-time event by which a conflict is resolved and peace established.
A ministry of reconciliation goes far beyond problem solving, mediation, and peace agreements.
There is not a moment in our lives without the need for reconciliation.
When we dare to look at the myriad hostile feelings and thoughts in our hearts and minds, we will immediately recognize the many little and big wars in which we take part.
Our enemy can be a parent, a child, a "friendly" neighbor, people with different lifestyles, people who do not think as we think, speak as we speak, or act as we act.
They all can become "them."
Right there is where reconciliation is needed.

Reconciliation touches the most hidden parts of our souls.
God gave reconciliation to us as a ministry that never ends.

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One of the hardest things in life is to let go of old hurts.

We often say, or at least think: "What you did to me and my family, my ancestors, or my friends I cannot forget or forgive. ... One day you will have to pay for it."

Sometimes our memories are decades, even centuries, old and keep asking for revenge.

Holding people's faults against them often creates an impenetrable wall.

But listen to Paul: "For anyone who is in Christ, there is a new creation: the old order is gone and a new being is there to see. It is all God's work" (2 Corinthians 5:17-18).

Indeed, we cannot let go of old hurts, but God can.

Paul says: "God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself, not holding anyone's fault against them" (2 Corinthians 5:19).

It is God's work, but we are God's ministers, because the God who reconciled the world to God entrusted to us "the message of reconciliation" (2 Corinthians 5:19).

This message calls us to let go of old hurts in the Name of God.

It is the message our world most needs to hear.

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The Duck And The Devil

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm.
He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods.
He practiced in the woods; but he could never hit the target.
Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner.
As he was walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck.
Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head and killed it. He was shocked and grieved!
In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile only to see his sister watching!
Sally had seen it all but she said nothing.
After lunch the next day Grandma said, "Sally, let's wash the dishes."
But Sally said, "Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen."
Then she whispered to him, "Remember the duck?"
So Johnny did the dishes.
Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing and Grandma said, "I'm sorry but I need Sally to help make supper."
Sally just smiled and said, "Well that's all right because Johnny told me he wanted to help"
She whispered again, "Remember the duck?"
So Sally went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.
After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's, he finally couldn't stand it any longer.
He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck.
Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said, "Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Sally make a slave of you."

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Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done . . . and the devil keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.) . . .
whatever it is.
You need to know that God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing.
He has seen your whole life.
He wants you to know that He LOVES you and that you are forgiven.
He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you.
The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness, He not only forgives, but He forgets
It is by God's grace and mercy that we are saved.

The Varied Landscapes Of Life

We are pilgrim people, journeying through the varied landscapes of life.
Let me travel light, unburdened by useless baggage -- material or spiritual -- and sing to the God who has given us such a glorious goal in life.

The parable of the Good Samaritan points too my salvalation depending on the way I treat whatever unfortunate person is put on my path so that God's will might be accomplished more perfectly in my live.

"I have fallen into the hands of the angels of darkness
who have not only stripped me of my garment of spiritual gace
but have also wounded me and left me half-dead.

Bind up the wounds of my sins by making me believe
that they can be healed,
for if I despair of healing they will become worse.

Apply the oil of forgiveness to them
and pour in the wine of compunction.

If you place me on your beast,
you will be raising the poor from the dust,
the needy from the rubbish heap.

For it is you who have carried our sins,
who have paid back what you did not take."

-- St. Gregory the Great

Hand Of Pardon

So wide is God's mercy that no sin is too great or too small for forgiveness.
So much narrower is my charity that I often find the small annoyance the hardest to forgive.
The more often we turn in prayer to the all-forgiving God, the more we will become like him in extending the hand of pardon to others in every daily circumstance.

Forgiving Myself

The most difficult part of ongoing recovery is admitting that I really am a sinner and allowing God to see and forgive me as I am, with all my faults unmended and all my flaws showing, especially the ones over which I seem to have no control.

Have mercy, My Creator, in your kindness:

When I am reluctant to own my sins as sins.

When I am afraid, in my sinfulness, to pray.

When I feel hopeless about the sinful patterns in which we are trapped.

When I refuse to forgive others because I cannot forgive myself.

Forgive what I cannot forgive;

heal what I dare not face;

grant humility where I take refuge in false pride.

Grant me singleness of heart and a stead fast spirit.