Five Rules To Remember in Life

1. Money cannot buy happiness, but its more comfortable to cry in a CORVETTE than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole's name. (A personal favorite)

3. If you help someone when they are in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does voting for the Democrats.