Saturday, March 31, 2012

Remembering Mom's Clothesline

We had a long wooden pole (clothes pole) that was used to push the clotheslines up so that longer items (sheets/pants/etc.) didn't brush the ground and get dirty.

You have to be a "certain age" to appreciate this one. ... (But you YOUNGER ones can read about "The GOOD ol' days"!!)
I can hear my mother now.....
THE BASIC RULES FOR CLOTHESLINES:

1. You had to hang the socks by the toes... NOT the top.

2.You hung pants by the BOTTOM/cuffs... NOT the waistbands.

3.You had to WASH the clothesline(s) before hanging any clothes - walk the entire length of each line with a damp cloth around the lines.

4.You had to hang the clothes in a certain order, and always hang "whites" with "whites," and hang them first.

5.You NEVER hung a shirt by the shoulders - always by the tail! What would the neighbors think?

6.Wash day on a Monday! NEVER hang clothes on the weekend, or on Sunday, for Heaven's sake!
7.Hang the sheets and towels on the OUTSIDE lines so you could hide your "unmentionables" in the middle (perverts & busybodies, y'know!)

8. It didn't matter if it was sub-zero weather... clothes would "freeze-dry."

9. ALWAYS gather the clothes pins when taking down dry clothes! Pins left on the lines were "tacky"!

10. If you were efficient, you would line the clothes up so that each item did not need two clothes pins, but shared one of the clothes pins with the next washed item.

11.Clothes off of the line before dinner time, neatly folded in the clothes basket, and ready to be ironed.

12. IRONED???!! Well, that's a whole OTHER subject

Friday, March 16, 2012

Waiting

I've started to realize that waiting is an art, that waiting achieves things.
Waiting can be very, very powerful.
Time is a valuable thing. If you can wait two years, you can sometimes achieve something that you could not achieve today, however hard you worked, however much money you threw up in the air, however many times you banged your head against the wall. . .

--The Courage to Change by Dennis Wholey



Today, I am willing to learn the art of patience.
If I am feeling powerless because I am waiting for something to happen and I am not in control of timing, I will focus on the power available to me by learning to wait.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Beer News

This is Alarming!

Beer contains female hormones!

Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones!

Last month, Montreal University and scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.

Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.

The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.

To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 schooners of beer within a one (1) hour period.

It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects, yes, 100% of all these men:

1) Argued over nothing.

2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.

3) Gained weight.

4) Talked excessively without making sense.

5) Became overly emotional

6) Couldn't drive.

7) Failed to think rationally, and

8) Had to sit down while urinating.

No further testing was considered necessary!

Prayer and Meditation


There is a direct linkage among self-examination, meditation, and prayer.
Taken separately, these practices can bring much relief and benefit.
But when they are logically related and interwoven, the result is an unshakable foundation for life.
-- As Bill Sees It, p. 33


Prayer asks the question.
Meditation listens for the answer.

Five Rules To Remember in Life



1. Money cannot buy happiness, but its more comfortable to cry in a CORVETTE than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole's name. (A personal favorite)

3. If you help someone when they are in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does voting for the Democrats.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Spirituality

Spirituality is an awakening -- or is it all the loose ends woven together into a mellow fabric?
It's understanding -- or is it all the knowledge one need ever know?
It's freedom -- if you consider fear slavery. It's confidence -- or is it the belief that a higher power will see you through any storm or gale?
It's adhering to the dictates of your conscience -- or is it a deep, genuine, living concern for the people and the planet? It's peace of mind in the face of adversity. It's a keen and sharpened desire for survival.
- Came To Believe . . ., p. 5


Spirituality is the essence of being. It can shape reality.

Growth


The essence of all growth is a willingness to change for the better and then an unremitting willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this entails.
- As Bill Sees It, p. 115


Change is inevitable, growth is optional.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

The Arrogance of Authority

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher.  He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."

The rancher said, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there.....," as he pointed out the location.        

The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!"      

Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.         
"See this fucking badge?!  This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land !! No questions asked or answers given!!  Have I made myself clear......do you understand ?!!"   

The
 rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.     

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull......

With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety.  The officer was clearly terrified.

The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....                         

(I just love this part....)             

"Your badge, show him your fucking BADGE........ ! !"


The Irish Blonde

   An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland, arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.

   She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." And with that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

   As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed... "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!" She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly parted.

   The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

MORAL OF THE STORY

Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb, ..... but all men... are men!

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Perfection




We are not saints.
The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines.
The principles we have set down are guides to progress.
We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.

- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 60




Give Time . . . time.

G.O.D.

G.O.D. = Good Orderly Direction ~ Anonymous

My will power will only be helpful to me when it is acting in accordance with my decision to let my Higher Power instruct me in the way to go.

Truth in Irony

The Food Stamp Program, part of the Department of Agriculture, is pleased to be distributing the greatest amount of food stamps ever in its history.

Meanwhile, the Park Service , also part of the Department of Agriculture, asks us to "Please Do Not Feed the Animals" because the animals may grow dependent and not learn to take care of themselves.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Aluminum Willys Coupe

Walt Austin’s aluminum Willys coupe at Jim Hume's shop south of Bellingham Wash

Old Guy And A Bucket Of Shrimp

It happened every Friday evening, almost without fail, when the sun resembled a giant orange and was starting to dip into the blue ocean.

Old Ed came strolling along the beach to his favorite pier.. Clutched in his bony hand was a bucket of shrimp. Ed walks out to the end of the pier, where it seems he almost has the world to himself. The glow of the sun is a golden bronze now.

Everybody's gone, except for a few joggers on the beach. Standing out on the end of the pier, Ed is alone with his thoughts...and his bucket of shrimp.

Before long, however, he is no longer alone. Up in the sky a thousand white dots come screeching and squawking, winging their way toward that lanky frame standing there on the end of the pier.

Before long, dozens of seagulls have enveloped him, their wings fluttering and flapping wildly. Ed stands there tossing shrimp to the hungry birds. As he does, if you listen closely, you can hear him say with a smile, 'Thank you. Thank you.'

In a few short minutes the bucket is empty. But Ed doesn't leave.

He stands there lost in thought, as though transported to another time and place.

When he finally turns around and begins to walk back toward the beach, a few of the birds hop along the pier with him until he gets to the stairs, and then they, too, fly away. And old Ed quietly makes his way down to the end of the beach and on home.

If you were sitting there on the pier with your fishing line in the water, Ed might seem like 'a funny old duck,' as my dad used to say. Or, 'a guy who's a sandwich shy of a picnic,' as my kids might say. To onlookers, he's just another old codger, lost in his own weird world, feeding the seagulls with a bucket full of shrimp.

To the onlooker, rituals can look either very strange or very empty. They can seem altogether unimportant .... maybe even a lot of nonsense.

Old folks often do strange things, at least in the eyes of Boomers and Busters.

Most of them would probably write Old Ed off, down there in Florida . That's too bad. They'd do well to know him better.

His full name: Eddie Rickenbacker. He was a famous hero back in World War II. On one of his flying missions across the Pacific, he and his seven-member crew went down. Miraculously, all of the men survived, crawled out of their plane, and climbed into a life raft.

Captain Rickenbacker and his crew floated for days on the rough waters of the Pacific. They fought the sun. They fought sharks. Most of all, they fought hunger. By the eighth day their rations ran out. No food. No water. They were hundreds of miles from land and no one knew where they were.

They needed a miracle. That afternoon they had a simple devotional service and prayed for a miracle. They tried to nap. Eddie leaned back and pulled his military cap over his nose. Time dragged. All he could hear was the slap of the waves against the raft..

Suddenly, Eddie felt something land on the top of his cap. It was a seagull!

Old Ed would later describe how he sat perfectly still, planning his next move. With a flash of his hand and a squawk from the gull, he managed to grab it and wring its neck... He tore the feathers off, and he and his starving crew made a meal - a very slight meal for eight men - of it. Then they used the intestines for bait... With it, they caught fish, which gave them food and more bait......and the cycle continued. With that simple survival technique, they were able to endure the rigors of the sea until they were found and rescued (after 24 days at sea...).

Eddie Rickenbacker lived many years beyond that ordeal, but he never forgot the sacrifice of that first life-saving seagull.. And he never stopped saying, 'Thank you.' That's why almost every Friday night he would walk to the end of the pier with a bucket full of shrimp and a heart full of gratitude.

Reference: (Max Lucado, "In The Eye of the Storm",
pp..221, 225-226)

PS: Eddie started Eastern Airlines.

Unfinished Business

When I'm in the present, there's no fear, anxiety resentment, or regret
because those are things generated by dwelling on the past or the future.

In the present there is only action to be taken or acceptance of the way things are.

When I live in the past, it costs me the present.

Unemployment Rate In America: Abbott and Costello


COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America.

ABBOTT: Good subject. Terrible times. It's about 9%.

COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?

ABBOTT: No, that's 16%.

COSTELLO: You just said 9%.

ABBOTT: 9% Unemployed.

COSTELLO: Right, 9% out of work.

ABBOTT: No, that's 16%.

COSTELLO: Okay, so it's 16% unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, that's 9%...

COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 9% or 16%?

ABBOTT: 9% are unemployed. 16% are out of work.

COSTELLO: If you are out of work, you are unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, you can't count the "Out of Work" as the unemployed. You have to look for work to be unemployed.

COSTELLO: But ... they are out of work!

ABBOTT: No, you miss my point.

COSTELLO: What point?

ABBOTT: Someone who doesn't look for work, can't be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn't be fair.

COSTELLO: To whom?

ABBOTT: The unemployed.

COSTELLO: But they are ALL out of work.

ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work.... Those who are out of work stopped looking. They gave up. And, if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.

COSTELLO: So if you're off the unemployment roles, that would count as less unemployment?

ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!

COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don't look for work?

ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That's how you get to 9%. Otherwise it would be 16%. You don't want to read about 16% unemployment do ya?

COSTELLO: That would be frightening.

ABBOTT: Absolutely!

COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number?

ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.

COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?

ABBOTT: Correct.

COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?

ABBOTT: BINGO!

COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to just stop looking for work.

ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like an economist.

COSTELLO: I don't even know what the hell I just said!

And now you know why Obama's unemployment figures are improving!

Remember, statistics is the art of taking numbers and manipulating them to say exactly what you want.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Be Patient with Everyone

-- from writings by St. Francis de Sales

Be patient with everyone, but above all with yourself . . . do not be disappointed by your imperfections, but always rise up with fresh courage.

How are you to be patient in dealing with your neighbor's faults if you are impatient in dealing with your own?

They who are worried by their own shortcomings will not correct them.

All positive progress comes from a calm and peaceful mind.