Step Twelve

When the Twelfth Step is seen in its full implication, it is really talking about the kind of love that has no price tag on it.

Life will take on new meaning.

H O P E = Help Open People's Eyes.

His And Her Diary

Her Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving.
I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.
My life is a disaster.





His Diary:
Boat wouldn't start, can't figure it out, at least I got laid.

Depth of Thought

We must come to the realization of the one life running through all. To a certain degree we attain to the realization of unity by contemplation, religion, and prayer. But what is most necessary is sincerity in our way of life. What we are is all that really matters. Contemplation and meditation help in this, but our manner of life is what is all important, sincerity in our actions, and living life practically and not in theory. -- Pir-o-Murshid Inayat Khan

Evidence

My abuse of alcohol was the exterior manifestation of a disease much more complex and consuming than simple drunkenness, and similarly, my abstinence is the exterior manifestation of a wellness much more rewarding than simple sobriety.
The most convincing evidence I have today that I'm an alcoholic is not how much or how long I drank, nor how drunk I got; the most convincing evidence I have is that AA is working for me.

If you think you are an alcoholic, chances are you are.

T H I N K = Thank Heavens I Now Know.

No Rule

There is no rule that says I have to be and think and act the same way my whole life.

Today is a clean slate.

I can be who I want to be.

Living Sober

Somewhat to our surprise, staying sober turns out not to be the grim,
wet-blanket experience we had expected!
While we were drinking, a life without alcohol seemed like no life at all.
But for most members of AA, living sober is really living -- a joyous experience.
We much prefer it to the troubles we had with drinking.
One more note: anyone can get sober.
We have done it lots of times.
The trick is to stay and live sober.

The joy is in the journey, so enjoy the ride.

Metaphor

I remember when I bought my first Big Book, I was told by an old timer that "meetings are the icing on the cake, but the Big Book is the meat in the sandwich."
The AA's who were standing around the literature table that night all nodded knowingly at this metaphor.
I realize now just how true those words are.

Walk softly and carry a Big Book.

B I G B O O K = Believing In God Beats Our Old Knowledge

Within

For the secret of all knowledge that one acquires in the world, whether worldly knowledge or spiritual knowledge, is the knowledge of the self.
For instance, music is played outside, but where is it realized?
It is realized within.
A good word or a bad word is spoken outside, but where is it realized?
It is realized within.
Then where is the realization of this whole manifestation, all this creation that stands before us in all its aspects?
Its realization is within.
And at the same time the error of man always continues.
Instead of finding it within he always wants to find it without.
It is just like a man who wants to see the moon and looks for it on the ground.
And if a man sought for thousands of years for the moon by looking on the earth, he will never see it.
He will have to lift up his head and look at the sky.
And so with the man who is in search of the mystery of life outside; he will never find it.
For the mystery of life is to be found within.
-- by Pir-o-Murshid Inayat Khan:

God is within you; you are His instrument, and through you He expresses Himself to the external world.

Gratitude -- Happy Thanksgiving!

Sometimes in life, things happen too fast.
We barely solve one problem when two new problems surface.
We're feeling great in the morning, but we're submerged in misery by nightfall.

Every day we face interruptions, delays, changes, and challenges.
We face personality conflicts and disappointments.
Often when we're feeling overwhelmed, we can't see the lessons in these experiences.

One simple concept can get us through the most stressful of times.
It's called gratitude.
We learn to say thank you for these problems and feelings.
Thank you for the way things are.
I don't like this experience, but thank you anyway.

Force gratitude until it becomes habitual.
Gratitude helps us stop trying to control outcomes.
It is the key that unlocks positive energy in our life.
It is the alchemy that turns problems into blessings, and the unexpected into gifts.

Today, I will be grateful. I will start the process of turning today's pain into tomorrow's joy.

-- From "The Language of Letting Go" by Melody Beattie

Stopping

I remember telling a friend years ago that I didn't have a drinking problem, I had a stopping problem.
We laughed.
It was true, but there was something else going on, something that never occurred to me until I came to AA.
I didn't just have a stopping problem.
I had a starting problem too.
No matter how often I stopped, or for how long, I always started drinking again.
- Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 372-373

I can't start doing what's right until I stop doing what's wrong.

Loneliness

The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society, from life itself.
As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm,
the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down.
It thickened, ever becoming blacker.
Some of us sought out sordid places,
hoping to find understanding companionship and approval.
Momentarily we did -- then would come oblivion and the awful awakening
to face the hideous Four Horsemen -- Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair.
Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand!
- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 151

Alcohol -- cunning, baffling, powerful!

Decision

My decisions had been based on fear, pride, or ego.
As a result, those decisions led me down a path of self-destruction.
Today I try to allow God to guide me on the road to sanity.
I am responsible for my action - or inaction -- whatever the consequences may be.
Maturity is the ability to make a decision and follow through.